I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
