sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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