"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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