How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
