Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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