did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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