Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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