I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How does one acquire holy water?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
