Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I FOUND THE LEGS
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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