in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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