Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
