the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
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