i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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