so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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