Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
