Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
