her vagine was all disorganized.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
