I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
