Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize