Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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