i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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