Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Randomize
