it was like his penis was on wheels.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
