the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
