The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
