worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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