Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You have to summon your inner elephant
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
