Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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