well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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