too bad you live with your parents still
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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