Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
