I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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