he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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