who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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