evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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