Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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