I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
