the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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