I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
