I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
