best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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