plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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