alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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