He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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