Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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