I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
