if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
