In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
