I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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