therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Randomize
