He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize