Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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