come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
