the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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