my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
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Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
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I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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