yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
What a dumb baby whore.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
