my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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