Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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