The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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