HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
