I think I died a long time ago.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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