Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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