Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize