i permit you to call me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it's like iHOP with fire
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
